Bungie, please let Destiny 2’s seasonal grandma retire already

Who is Eva Levante? Genuinely, I have no idea. I’ve been playing Destiny 2 for around four years now, since before Shadowkeep arrived, and in those years the soft-spoken grandma has dominated the game’s seasonal events as their host. It’s not even a question of someone else doing the job anymore; if there’s an event, we all know we’re going to be listening to Eva saying “I could use some more coffee” or “Carlos and Maria” or “Have you grown bigger or have I grown shorter?” on repeat for a month.

Phil’s Take

(Image credit: Bungie)

Sean is being very nice here—he just wants a bit of variety! Some spice to showcase the personality of each seasonal event on the calendar. Me? I’m a purist. I dislike Eva Levante’s whole situation.

Right now, in Destiny 2, the Witness is coming to usher in the second Collapse. Our allies are reckoning with traumas that have haunted them for centuries. But let’s forget all that so we can do errands for this doting grandma and suffer through her whole “aww shucks, isn’t it nice to be nice” vibe while twee event music plays in the Tower. In a universe of wish dragons and worm gods and unknowable consciousnesses that evolved out of the vibrations of dark matter through planets, Eva Levante is the worst thing you can be. Basic. Silly. Get rid of her.

That’s nothing new, though; ask a Destiny 2 player and they could probably quote any number of voicelines from Banshee, Master Rahool, or Tess Everis on command. Hanging out around The Tower inevitably leads to them bleeding into your subconscious until, one day, you realize you can quote everything and should maybe find somewhere else to hang out. That’s not what bothers me most about Eva Levante; it’s that I don’t think she’s an important enough character to deserve to host every event.

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